Clipping Board » Life Tips ─ Life is also a subject of study...
[2010/04/23 Reporter Shi Qianling, Taipei Report]
According to statistics from the Taipei Awakening Association, poor communication has now become the leading cause of divorce. Lin Shixuan, deputy director of the Taipei Awakening Association, pointed out that couples today are increasingly emphasizing the role of communication in marriage. Even without issues like infidelity or conflicts with in-laws, many couples consider divorce if they find themselves unable to communicate effectively.
**Divorcing Over Trivial Matters**
Lin Shixuan noted that in the past, most cases handled by Awakening involved couples seeking divorce due to infidelity, conflicts with in-laws, or lifestyle differences. However, communication problems have now become a major reason for divorce. A common scenario is when a husband continues to socialize frequently with friends after marriage, while the wife demands that he spend more time at home with the family. Such disagreements can escalate into arguments severe enough to lead to divorce.
Another frequent issue involves lifestyle differences. In one case handled by Awakening, a couple had a child after marriage. The wife consistently used one sink to wash the baby’s items, but the husband used the same sink to clean his pet’s food and water bowls. Concerned about hygiene and contamination, the wife became upset and argued with her husband, accusing him of prioritizing the pet over their child.
Lin Shixuan explained that while these issues may seem minor to outsiders, the individuals involved view them as serious enough to warrant divorce. The real problem lies not in the incidents themselves but in the lack of effective communication. Many communication breakdowns occur when one spouse forbids the other from doing something without explaining the reasons behind the restriction. Through counseling, changing the way they express themselves often helps the other party understand, resolving conflicts more easily.
**Lack of Communication Leads to Infidelity**
Beyond poor communication, a complete lack of communication is also a major cause of divorce. A typical situation arises after a child is born, when couples separate rooms for convenience—with the wife sleeping with the child. As the wife shifts all her focus to the child, the husband often ends up alone, facing the TV. By the time the child grows up and no longer requires overnight care, the couple may realize they have nothing left to say to each other.
Lin Shixuan mentioned that in such cases, the husband often feels neglected in the family, which can lead to infidelity.
She also noted that different age groups approach marriage differently. Couples currently aged 30 to 40, having been overly pampered by their parents growing up, often struggle to adapt to married life. A common example is when neither spouse has ever washed dishes or done laundry before marriage, leading to arguments like, "Why don’t you do it? Why should I be the one?"
**Lack of Group Living Experience Leads to Marital Issues**
Lin Shixuan pointed out that as fewer children are born in Taiwan, many couples grow up without experiencing group living. They often lack awareness of marital responsibilities and obligations and have no idea how to communicate with others. When these habits carry over into marriage, both parties may only seek benefits from the relationship without being willing to contribute, leading to serious conflicts.
In cases handled by Awakening, many instances of sporadic domestic violence arise when arguments escalate, with one party lacking sensitivity and further fueling the tension. Lin emphasized that while violence is never justified, sporadic domestic violence—as opposed to long-term abuse—is often triggered by poor communication.
Lin Shixuan also urged parents to recognize that their attitudes toward marriage are often passed down to the next generation. If they want their children to have happy marriages, they must start by nurturing their own.Source: http:/ / tw. news. yahoo. com/ art……rl/ d/ a/ 100423/ 131/ 24dqp. html
Poor Communication Rises as Top Cause of Divorce
According to statistics from the Taipei Awakening Association, poor communication has now become the leading cause of divorce. Lin Shixuan, deputy director of the Taipei Awakening Association, pointed out that couples today are increasingly emphasizing the role of communication in marriage. Even without issues like infidelity or conflicts with in-laws, many couples consider divorce if they find themselves unable to communicate effectively.
**Divorcing Over Trivial Matters**
Lin Shixuan noted that in the past, most cases handled by Awakening involved couples seeking divorce due to infidelity, conflicts with in-laws, or lifestyle differences. However, communication problems have now become a major reason for divorce. A common scenario is when a husband continues to socialize frequently with friends after marriage, while the wife demands that he spend more time at home with the family. Such disagreements can escalate into arguments severe enough to lead to divorce.
Another frequent issue involves lifestyle differences. In one case handled by Awakening, a couple had a child after marriage. The wife consistently used one sink to wash the baby’s items, but the husband used the same sink to clean his pet’s food and water bowls. Concerned about hygiene and contamination, the wife became upset and argued with her husband, accusing him of prioritizing the pet over their child.
Lin Shixuan explained that while these issues may seem minor to outsiders, the individuals involved view them as serious enough to warrant divorce. The real problem lies not in the incidents themselves but in the lack of effective communication. Many communication breakdowns occur when one spouse forbids the other from doing something without explaining the reasons behind the restriction. Through counseling, changing the way they express themselves often helps the other party understand, resolving conflicts more easily.
**Lack of Communication Leads to Infidelity**
Beyond poor communication, a complete lack of communication is also a major cause of divorce. A typical situation arises after a child is born, when couples separate rooms for convenience—with the wife sleeping with the child. As the wife shifts all her focus to the child, the husband often ends up alone, facing the TV. By the time the child grows up and no longer requires overnight care, the couple may realize they have nothing left to say to each other.
Lin Shixuan mentioned that in such cases, the husband often feels neglected in the family, which can lead to infidelity.
She also noted that different age groups approach marriage differently. Couples currently aged 30 to 40, having been overly pampered by their parents growing up, often struggle to adapt to married life. A common example is when neither spouse has ever washed dishes or done laundry before marriage, leading to arguments like, "Why don’t you do it? Why should I be the one?"
**Lack of Group Living Experience Leads to Marital Issues**
Lin Shixuan pointed out that as fewer children are born in Taiwan, many couples grow up without experiencing group living. They often lack awareness of marital responsibilities and obligations and have no idea how to communicate with others. When these habits carry over into marriage, both parties may only seek benefits from the relationship without being willing to contribute, leading to serious conflicts.
In cases handled by Awakening, many instances of sporadic domestic violence arise when arguments escalate, with one party lacking sensitivity and further fueling the tension. Lin emphasized that while violence is never justified, sporadic domestic violence—as opposed to long-term abuse—is often triggered by poor communication.
Lin Shixuan also urged parents to recognize that their attitudes toward marriage are often passed down to the next generation. If they want their children to have happy marriages, they must start by nurturing their own.Source: http:/ / tw. news. yahoo. com/ art……rl/ d/ a/ 100423/ 131/ 24dqp. html